Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A Little Frustrated

I'm actually writing this in between my sons school lessons, so excuse me if my thoughts seem a little broken up.

I am frustrated right now.  We are in Week 3 of school and I am really getting the hang of this.  I have a schedule down and teaching the lessons is getting easier.  I am building more confidence in myself and I am starting to know my own strengths and weaknesses as well as my sons.  

I wake up every morning with a positive outlook on the day. I am chipper and happy, (the extreme opposite of my normal demeanor in the morning). I try really hard to make this a pleasant experience for both my son and myself.

The problem is, my son.  He wakes up in the morning grumpy, (he doesn't wake up until 9:30am and we don't start school until 10am).  He gets upset at me when I try to explain things to him, or even when I want to help him.  He gives me crazy attitude throughout the day.  He daydreams and when I tell him to pay attention, we freaks out and tells me he's working.

Just to clarify, my son is not a problem child.  We are not homeschooling because he was in trouble at school.  We are homeschooling because we don't like the schools in t his area and felt he wasn't getting the education that he deserved.  He was, and still is all for homeschooling.  I just think he may be having a hard time with me being his mom and his teacher.  A mom/teacher is much more strict than a school teacher.  All my attention is focused on him instead of 30 other kids in a class.

Anyway, back to my frustration.  I try really hard to make this experience fun and enjoyable.  I come in everyday with a positive attitude and I try my best to help him as much as possible.  I just can't stand the snotty attitude he has with me sometimes.  The way he acts has a huge impact on the way I act.  Yes, that sounds childish, but when he's shitty, it breaks me down.  It upsets me and therefore, I am shitty.  

I want to make this work.  I want to have a good experience with this and I want Cameron to have a good experience with this too.  I want this to be fun, better than traditional schooling.  I just don't know what to do to make this better for him.  I figured by now, we would both be in a good groove and it would be getting easier.  

I guess I'll just take it day by day and home that things get better for him.  Maybe he just needs a little more time to adjust to this.  I hope that's all it is, because if his attitude doesn't get better, I may have to start beating him.  That was a joke, for those of you who don't know me.  I don't beat my child, and obviously, don't condone that.

Think happy thoughts for me!

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